Oatmeal crisp: Road to glory
Aye, becoming the champion of long lasting crunch ‘twas a long and toilsome journey. It began decades ago when a young Oatmeal Crisp* burned with the fire of purpose - the purpose to prove it had the ultimate crunch. City by city, countless competitors failed to outlast the sensorial phenomenon of Oatmeal Crisp’s long lasting crunch. Even the kettle cooked taters of Ireland were no match for the relentlessly crunchy cereal. And thus, the title of Crunch Champion had been earned. Now, it be time for the title to be defended once more.
Oatsy’s Bio: The Man Behind The Crunch
The legend of Oatsy McTavish began in a wee town off the Eastern coast of Scotland. It was clear from the beginning that the boy was a savant for all things crunchy. Like an ear with perfect pitch, he could pinpoint the decibels of any crunch known to man. It was thanks to this ability that Oatsy was able to warn Scotland of the great quake of ‘95, saving the lives of eight villages and three herds of sheep. Needless to say, ‘twas this unique talent that led him to a career of refereeing the underground sport of crunch-offs. After years of basement bars, alleyways and abandoned community centres, the popularity of the sport began to grow, and Oatsy’s fame grew with it. He quickly built his reputation as a leader in the field of crunch, and with a 1st place finish at the Crunch Referees National Championships, he solidified his position as the foremost expert in crunch mechanics.
Many believe that Oatsy’s love of Oatmeal Crisp is because the crunch is just like Grandma McTavish’s original recipe.